In The Beginning

The Geordies

By Paul Armstrong & Kevin McCormick

Lying face down on the sun-drenched beach, Oz was overawed with what was happening to him. The gentle lapping of the tide was the only sound to disturb the peace and tranquillity of the isolated tropical island in the South Pacific. Reaching to his left he found a cool, half-finished bottle of beer and manoeuvred himself just enough so he was able to take a sip.
“Mmm, magic” he whispered to himself. The tall palms surrounding the beach were the only witnesses to this self-indulgence, which prompted a thought in Oz’s head. I wonder where the girls are?
Raising his head he called “Ladies, the bottle’s almost empty and I think I’m beginning to burn” Immediately from the dense thicket came running several topless beauties, all carrying branches and palm leaves except one, who had a fresh cold beer for him. Helping him sit up, she gently poured some of the beer into his mouth. “It just keeps getting better” he mumbled appreciatively. The other ladies were beginning to construct a gazebo from the natural resources and in no time Oz found himself in shade. He was about to utter a word of thanks when the lady who brought him his beer said, “Shh. It’s time for your massage” Several pairs of hands began to work feverishly on his neck, back, arms and legs. “This is soooo good!” After twenty minutes of this they stopped. Oz looked around. “It’s our turn now, lie on your back and take off your pants” Rolling his eyes, he replied, “Ok, if you insist” Naked and eyes closed he listened to their familiar chant, a chant which was offered to Oz, the god of sexual fulfillment.  When it finished there was a moments silence before they began chanting “Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz Oz” With a huge smile he opened his eyes and.  .  .
“Oooooozzzzzzz!”
.  .  .Marjorie! 
“C’mon Oz, it’s eight o’clock” Oz moaned, rubbing his sleep-filled eyes. “Majorie man, it’s Saturday. There’s no work”
“I know, but the sun’s shining and we told the bairn we’d take him to the beach when we got a nice day” replied Marjorie. Leaning closer she called, “So get up!” Oz closed his eyes momentarily and caught a final glimpse of the now almost forgotten, but often had, dream. Grabbing Marjorie by the arm he pulled her onto the bed. He smiled and raised his eyebrows a couple of times saying, “We’ve got five minutes haven’t we pet?”
“You’ve had that dream again haven’t you?” said Marjorie knowingly.
“Yes but.  .  .” Marjorie stood, “Then I suggest you have a cold shower and maybe when you dream about me I’ll have five minutes” and left. Oz grimaced, “A dream? Bloody nightmare more like” and lay back to try and recapture the dream’s finale.

   “Morning dad” said Rodney as Oz joined him at the dining table. “Morning son” replied Oz and held the teapot to check its temperature. Satisfied it was warm enough he poured himself a cup of tea. Looking at his dad dressed only in baggy underwear Rodney asked, “Aren’t you coming today dad?”
“Well aye. Wouldn’t miss it for the world”
“It’s just that mam said.  .  .” Oz interrupted, “Don’t go listening to everything your mam says. Now come on, finish your cornflakes” He helped himself to some toast and as he took his first bite, Marjorie joined them. Taking a look at Oz still in his underwear she yelled, “Are you not ready yet? If you don’t want to go then just say”
“Course I want to go” he mumbled through a mouthful of toast. Throwing the remaining piece on the table he said, “I’ll go and get ready right now. All I wanted was a bit of breakfast”
“Look at the time, it’s gone nine. You should’ve been ready ages ago man”
“It’ll only take me two minutes. I don’t have to gan tarting mesen up do I, like you” Oz was beginning to yell now.
“There’s nothing wrong Oz with taking a bit of care over your appearance. When we go out you always look like a tramp, doesn’t he Rod?” Rod though was looking down at his unfinished breakfast. He’d heard these arguments before and they always ended up with his dad storming off to the pub. Or worse, leaving for ages, and not coming back for years. In reality it was months, but it felt like years to Rodney. The day had only just started but already it was over. He started to cry. Marjorie sat beside him and held him; looking at Oz and saying, “Now look what you’ve done”
“Oh, I knew it would be me again” and stormed off. Marjorie attempted to calm down her sobbing son but wasn’t having much luck. Rodney could hear his dad in the bathroom, finishing in there then the banging of drawers and wardrobe doors. Footsteps returning to the dining room signalled the departure of his dad to the pub, or so he thought. Instead he had on a new t-shirt and jeans, a clean-shaven face and a smile. “Well, finish your breakfast and let’s gan” Immediately the sobbing ceased and the wrinkled face of despair was replaced with joy. Even Marjorie smiled, “When did you get the shirt?” Looking at it he replied, “Dunno, last year I think”
Looking him up and down she said, “Maybe I’ll find five minutes when we get back”

   Arriving at the seaside, Rod didn’t know what he wanted to do first. They settled on the fun-fair and made their way there. It was hard to decide who had the better time. It seemed the boy came out of Oz and he took Rodney on all the rides a five year old was allowed to. Amongst this was the usual feast on candyfloss, drinks and fish and chips. It was mid spring and the day that had started fine was getting better by the minute. By mid afternoon they decided to buy some snacks and have some time on the beach. Oz put Rodney on his shoulders expecting him to be tiring by now but he was having none of it. He wanted to build a sandcastle, a huge one. And with his dad being a builder, it would be the best on the beach.
They did manage to build a castle of sorts but Rodney was a little disappointed. It wasn’t the huge one he’d envisaged, but at least it was a castle. But then again maybe if he hadn’t kept jumping on it all the time it would be bigger and better by now. “Can I go in the water now dad?” Looking at the North Sea there were a few brave souls in there splashing around. Oz replied, “It’s freezing son”
“Oh, take him in Oz. You’ll get used to it” said Marjorie. Reluctantly Oz said, “Ok, but not for long” Rod smiled and in no time was down to his undies. With a puzzled look he asked, “Shall I go in these?”
“Aye, that’s what I’m doing” said Oz. Before Marjorie could protest he was stripped to his aged, baggy y-fronts. She looked down embarrassed, barely able to look as they made their way to the water. “At least they’ll get a wash” she said to herself. Rod dashed into the cold water, shrieking in delight. Oz was more careful in his approach, slowly making his way to Rod, who was taking great delight in splashing his dad with the cold water. “Alright, that’ll do. Hurry up and have a play then let’s get out. You’ll catch your death”
Ten minutes later, Oz had to force his son, reluctantly, from the sea. Even though he was shivering like a leaf he didn’t want to leave the water. Ironically it was the promise of ice-cream which got him out and after getting dried and dressed they sought a cafe. Sitting down, Rod tucked into a sundae while Oz and Marjorie had a hot cup of tea. The café was facing the fair and during the conversation with Marj, in which he really wasn’t doing any talking, he noticed a small gypsy tent. The sign outside declared fortunes told, palms read and dreams interpreted. Immediately Oz was intrigued and when Marjorie stopped for a breather he told her he was going to try it.
“You’ll be slinging money away Oz. They’re just a bunch of cranks” Oz laughed, “You’re probably right, but it’s only for a laugh” Marjorie shrugged, “Well it’s your money”
Oz finished his cup of tea and asked Marjorie to wait there for him. He left the café, crossed the road and entered the tent. Inside, the tent was split in two by curtains of the same fabric. He called hello and stood before the curtain wondering whether or not to enter. Just as he’d made his mind up to have a look inside, the curtains parted and a woman dressed in traditional gypsy garb stood before him. “Come in” she said. Oz followed her and sat on a small chair she was pointing at. There was a small table with a traditional crystal ball and another chair that she occupied. Resting on her forearms she smiled and asked, “What can I do for you?” Oz told her all about the repeated dream he’d been having and what it all meant. When he’d finished she gave a small laugh. “I’ve heard this story many times from many frustrated males”
“I’m only frustrated because I never get to the end, if you know what I mean” Again she laughed, “And you never will”
Oz frowned, “So you mean I’ll never get to.  .  ., you know, do the business”
“Sorry no”
“So what does it all mean?” he asked.
“Very simply there’s going to be a lot of travel in your life. You’ll meet lots of new people and make new friends. I see you’re married but domestic life isn’t for you and it won’t last”
“Will I be rich”
“No!”
“You could have broken it a bit more gently” he said, “When will this all start?”
“Very soon I think” He listened to what else she had to say then left, a little disillusioned due to not getting the response he’d hoped for.
Back in the café Rodney was just starting his second sundae. Oz ordered two more teas then told Marjorie what the gypsy had said. When he’d finished she said, “Well I could have told you you’ll never get rich working for Dennis” Dennis Patterson was his friend, a building contractor with his own business.
“Well maybe he’s going to open a branch overseas and make me in charge” Marjorie guffawed at that remark. “What do you mean by that?” asked Oz.
“Don’t be absurd Oz”
“I’m not!” Oz’s eyes widened as he recalled a comment Dennis had made not long ago. “I’ve just remembered something Dennis said in conversation too. He asked me about working overseas. Can’t remember exactly though what he said” Looking up and still deep in thought he said, “I’ll ask Dennis about it when he picks me up Monday morning” He looked at Rod who had put his spoon down with half of the second sundae still remaining. “I’m stuffed dad” Oz smiled, “That’s ok. Who’s for a go of the slots?”

   Monday morning came along again as it always did.  Oz woke and looked at the clock.  It was 08.49 am, bollocks!  No time for breakfast, just a quick dress and run down to the car ready to be on the job at 09.15.  His Zephyr took the usual four attempts to start, but soon Oz was heading down the central motorway towards the job in Whickham.  Patterson Construction had been hired to rebuild a garage on to a bungalow on the Clavering estate, the previous one had begun to subside.  Oz was just turning off Lobley Hill bank on  to Whickham highway when he caught site of a butty van parked next to the Catholic church.  The church was being renovated, and the van owner took full advantage of the hungry workforce.  Oz’s lack of breakfast was beginning to catch up with him.  “Argh bollocks” thought Oz, Dennis wouldn’t mind him being five minutes late.  He pulled over and approached the van.  Just as he had ordered his breakfast in a bun, a hand tapped him on the shoulder.  “Hey Oz man, you need to loose the weight not pile it on!”.  Oz spun round to find himself face to face with Eddie Huggins, a friend he had worked with in the past.  “Bloody hell Eddie!  How is gannin on mate!”
“Ah Oz man, I’m doing champion, what y’ up te theese days?”
“Well you remember Dennis Patterson, he’s fatha used to run the domino card in Hilltop miners club?”
“Oh aye”, remembered Eddie, “Married that Vera Lambert lassie”
“Aye” replied Oz, “Well he set up his own construction business two years ago, and I’ve been grafting for him.  You know repairs, small buildings”
“Wey y’bugger”, laughed Eddie, “He’s not the only one, this is my company working away in the church, been running it for nearly five years.  Only we do bigger jobs than small buildings.  We’re having to completely renovate this god-shop.  Costing thousands it is, and they reckon the church has no money!”
Oz laughed.  Eddie’s face became serious.  “Listen mate er..  How things going with Dennis, you happy there are you!”
“Happy enough”, said Oz slightly puzzled.
“Listen Oz mate, I wont beat about the bush, I’m really short handed.  Now I guarantee I can beat what Dennis is paying you…” Eddie began.  Oz quickly jumped in.  “Nar sorry Eddie, mates is mates, I cannot do that to Dennis, y’knaa, I’ve been with him a long time.  Plus there’s only two of us grafting at the minute.”
“Two?” asked Eddie, bemused,
“Aye” replied Oz, “Business hasn’t been too grand so that’s all he can afford, that’s another reason I can’t leave him.”  Eddie smiled.  He appreciated Oz’s loyalty, but didn’t want to give up.
“Tell you what”, said Eddie, “We’ll call this an open offer.  This jobs going to go on for a canny bit, then we’ve got a contract to do some renovations on the pedestrian tunnel at Jarrow.  If things get too tight, give us a bell, you’ve got me number aye?”
“Aye somewhere Eddie.  I’ll bear it in mind.  I’ve got to shoot off though mate, if I’m any later, Dennis’ll be pulling the last of his hair oot!”.  They both laughed and Oz departed for Whickham.

Later that day, Oz and Dennis were laying the roofing felt to the new garage and stopped for a moments break.  “I had wor Marj and the bairn to the coast a’saturday”
“Oh aye”, said Dennis surprised, “What brought that on?  Sudden desire to hark back to your youth?”
“Hardly Den.  I just felt that the bairn to do with a day oot, bit relaxation.  Mind I got nen o’that.  The little bugger varnigh worn us’oot.  Did the lot of wer good like, I’m thinking of making it regular.”
Dennis face dropped a little.  “Listen mate, before you go promising to spend more money theres something I better tell you.”
“Whats that like”, asked Oz, having a good inkling of the answer.
“I’ve got no more work lined up after this.  Nothing more has come in.  It looks like we’re going to be strictly repair men now, no more contracts like this one.  Look I’m sorry mate, I cant afford to pay you the amount I have been.  I need you to take a cut.”  Dennis braced himself for the onslaught of Oz’s temper, but need not have worried.
“Divvent fret man Den it happens doesn’t it.” Oz said calmly.
“Are you aright about it like?”
“Wey Den, I’ve sort of had a better offer.  Now I didn’t court this, so don’t think I’m being disloyal to you or nowt like that. But…”
“Go for it!” Dennis cut in sharply.
“But wont that leave you short handed…” asked Oz.
“Wey not necessarily,” Dennis continued. “Joan Hope’s young lad has just come through his apprenticeship, y’knaa him?”
“Nar”, replied Oz
“Wey you see, I could be paying him a lot less than I pay you.  Joan was asking if there was any chance of work for him, but I have to keep saying no.  But like I say, go for this better offer.  You would be doing yourself a favour and me.” Said Dennis.
“What about the business?”, asked Oz
“Wey,” said Dennis, “I don’t know how much longer its going to survive.  I’ve been thinking of going back to Germany, you knowm where I went back in 1980 when thing were bad”
“Oh aye”, remembered Oz.  “Wey I tell you what, if things don’t work out for me, why don’t we go together?”
“Well fingers crossed it doesn’t come to that.  Look in the meantime, you take up that offer, I’ll ring Joan and tell her her lad can start on Monday”.
Later that night Oz rang Eddie and made arrangements to start work at the church job on the Monday.

Monday morning for Dennis was different.  He stopped his van at the address Joan had given him on the phone and picked up Neville.  His kissed his wife goodbye at the door and jumped in beside Dennis.  As they drove off Neville began to thank Dennis.
“Thanks for the job Mr. Patterson, I really appreciate it” said Neville.
“Mr. Patterson?  Your not fourteen now kidda, you call me Dennis”
“Wey thanks Dennis”, said Neville again.
“Listen kid, I might as well be Frank with you.  I don’t know how much your mam told you, but I don’t know how much longer there’s going to be work for us.” Explained Dennis.
“Oh right”, said Neville, very worried, “Then what happens”
“Well”, said Dennis solemnly “If the worse comes to the worst, me and this mate, we’ve got this backup plan…..”

Six months later, Patterson construction went under, Eddie Huggins lost the contract of the pedestrian tunnel to a rival firm, and three Geordie lads headed for Düsseldorf, a wooden hut, and four of the best mates that they would ever make…..

Back to main